A Life Less Ordinary - Fostering the Future

The pair began fostering when Justin was two. “There was an older woman living next door who needed help looking after her grandchild.” says Teresa. “To help we had to sign up with CYFS to be caregivers. That was number one; it just snowballed from there.”

Teresa has never stopped being passionate about fostering. Her and Dave’s house has space to foster two kids at once, but they’d have more in a flash if there was room. “Every child deserves love. Every child deserves to be safe.” She says, “That’s why we do it. We both had idyllic childhoods and we want to give that to other children.”

When there is room at the house, CYFS puts Teresa on active status. From then on she can expect to be contacted at any time to hear there’s a new addition to the family. “You get a phone call usually a couple of hours beforehand”, says Teresa. “Every child comes here with nothing. They arrive here in the middle of the night. I don’t think people realise how much this happens in Nelson. There’s a lot of abuse out there; a lot of kids in care. It’s very sad.”

The ages of Teresa’s foster children have varied over the years, from babies right through to teenagers. Their length of stay has varied too; anything from three weeks to seven years (and counting). CYFS’s goal is to return the child to their family, but this is not always possible. Some go back home, some get adopted by other family members, some go to different foster homes and some live permanently with Teresa and Dave.

The children all come from neglectful or abusive circumstances, so each one arrives with their own complications. “It’s really hard for the kids”, says Teresa. “There are some really angry ones. Every kid is damaged. You get a holiday period of about three days where they’re distracted by the new environment and new toys, then they realise they’re not going home and the shit really hits the fan.”

Another difficulty is allowing parents continued access to the children. “It’s one of the biggest challenges, because they’re not always nice. Their kids are here for a reason.”

The hardest thing of all though can be saying goodbye if it’s time for them to move on. “Once they’re gone, they’re gone”, says Teresa. “You don’t get to see them. That’s hard. You wonder where they are and how they’re doing.”

But despite how tough it gets and the juggling act she has to perform with her busy work life, Teresa will always want to foster children. “It’s very rewarding and it’s very hard. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. There’s lots of highs and lots of lows. But it’s all about caring for them and giving them love.”